KFC's Colonel's Buttery Spread

My wife was craving some KFC the other day (it's not Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore, it's KFC) and I didn't feel like cooking... Well I didn't feel like cooking, I was exhausted from work, and I could walk to KFC, these were all factors that helped my wife's cause. 

We got some combos with the requisite Mashed Potatoes 'N Gravy (gravy which I call wallpaper paste), Cole Slaw (which I shamefully enjoy), and their biscuits (which have gone dreadfully downhill since my youth.)

What caught my eye; however, was the packet titled "Colonel's Buttery Spread" which beyond its title bore only the following two tidbits of information: "Keep Refrigerated" and "Artificially Flavored." 

What is this magical spread?  What is it made from?  Why is such a mystery?  Was it outsourced to the Keebler Elves and made churning Yeti milk with a unicorn's horn?

I went online to take a peek at the KFC Nutrition Guide - but somehow "Colonel's Buttery Spread" must have been overlooked when they compiled the list.  This is odd. 

So I called 1-800-CALL-KFC.  I was able to speak to a human being right away and I asked them that since the packet lists no ingredients, I'd like to know what is in it.  After several minutes of digging, she couldn't find anything. 

 Don't they supply a small handful to EVERYONE who leaves with a biscuit?  That must be at least 70% of their customers!  This spread might be the one single item that is distributed more than any other.

She asked if she could take my information and forward the request on to "Upper Management," so I gave her my name, address, email, and phone number.  Upper Management, literally.

That was two days ago... I'm still waiting for a response...


If you would like to ask KFC what is inside their "Colonel's Buttery Spread" - the online request form is here.  Make sure you check the box on the second page "Would you like us to contact you? If yes, click here"

Authordavid koch