Explosinve Orange - photo by noisen8r

From the comedy magazine (now web-only), Cracked, comes a hilarious take on "7 Retarded Food Myths the Internet Thinks Are True."  I have heard most of them, in some way, shape, or form; however, I thought MSG burns your stomach lining, not your brain.  I also never knew how bad water was for you after eating.  How I've for lived this long - we'll never know.

My own high school Physics teacher (Mr. Brundin?) had a story about HIS college Biochemistry professor keeping an unwrapped Twinkie on hand to make the class guess how old it is.  If I remember correctly, it was more than 20 years old.  Although it is all hearsay, I don't think I ate a Twinkie for at least the next ten years.

This Twinkie story pre-dates the internet and I'm sure all of these rumors existed by word of mouth well before Netscape Navigator existed.  Nevertheless, at the time I had now way of "fact-checking" on the web (oxymoron?) to confirm or deny the truth behind Mr. Brundin's story.  So here are Cracked's Top 7:


#7 - Coca-Cola Will Melt Your Stomach

#6 - Red Bull Gives You Wings, and By Wings, We Mean a Brain Tumor

#5 - MSG Burns Your Brain Cells

#4 - Cold Water After a Meal will Give You Cancer... Or a Heart Attack...

#3 - Twinkies Are Not Real Food, They Last Forever

#2 - Margarine is Actually Plastic

#1 - Canola Oil is RAPE OIL


Read the article here for their Facts for each one and commentary from their readers.

- Dave Koch

Authordavid koch
CategoriesHumor, Science