Guilty Pleasures

photo by dugglesworth

I was reading the Saveur Forums and someone posted the question, "Guilty Pleasures?  I was wondering what other people's secret and possibly scary food indulgences might be."

Intrigued, I read on... some I can relate with, others are disguising.  Nearly all of them are foods they had as children.  Here are some excerpts:

• "Peanut butter and Miracle Whip sandwich—on super soft white bread." 
• "I love to sip on the brine from a jar of capers." 
• "I love sliced cucumbers that have been soaked in a vinegar salt and onion brine on open faced peanut butter sandwiches.  I also love butter on slathered on saltine crackers and hot chocolate." 
• "Chocolate covered coffee beans dipped in Nutella" 
• "BUGLES.  Cheezos (only the crunchy kind).  Stinkin' Chef Boyardee pizza from a box." 
• "Spaghetti-O's with meatballs (no franks, please)" 
• "the hostess cupcake. You know the one with the white squiggle on it?" 
• "I get a ridiculous craving for a Big Mac once a year." 
• "A hostess twinkie, a small bag of cheetos (someone else said this one already) or an Entemann's honeybun (which has more fat grams than two big Macs by the way)." 
• "Bread (mostly Homemade) With Horseradish Mustard With Syrup To Top" 
• "noodles... Stir in some Campbell's tomato soup and top with Kraft parmesan (shaker cheese we used to call it)" 
• "When I was a kid, my sister and I used to enjoy sipping capfuls of vinegar. Malt vinegar was our favorite... We did the same with A-1 steak sauce. As an adult, my guilty pleasure is definitely circus peanuts... my oddly spongy treats." 
• "Guilty pleasure = Nutella off a spoon. Unusual childhood dish = Ricotta and Jelly on Toast." 
• "I was raised on this sandwich. At least twice a week for 18 years! Now I have gone all "classy" and have PB and Mayo. I still love it and it is fun to gross out your friends." 
• "I crave a peanutbutter sandwich with dill pickles. Or sometimes bread and butter pickles.  Or once a year or so I have to have Spaghetti-O's out of the can. I cannot abide them cooked, they smell like vomit and are too squishy." 
• "I have been known to take corn flakes and dip then in soft butter" 
• "Guys regular potato chips (not the waffle type), crushed, then placed between two pieces of squishy, insipid, white bread, which have been slathered with plain yellow mustard." 
• "Thinly sliced radishes, heavily salted, on buttered white bread."

My guilty pleasure?  An avocado, peanut butter and Vegemite sandwich.  Oh Lord!  My wife can barely even watch me eat one - but they're so good!  What are your guilty pleasures?

Mario's Potty Mouth

At the Food Network South Beach Wine & Food Festival last weekend Celebrichef Mario Batali dropped a couple of F'bombs into the crowd and made a minor stink.  Of course I wasn't there, with plates going for $1,000+, but I read about it on the NY Post.  The juiciest part of the whole scene?  

King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia of Spain were there - and supposedly within earshot.

Presented by Food & Wine, hosted by Southern Wine & Spirits of Florida and Florida International University (FIU), "the festival benefits the Teaching Restaurant and the Southern Wine & Spirits Beverage Management Center, both located at FIU."

According to the same article Mario told The Post, "Well, I say the word 'mother[bleep]er' a lot."

Who cares?  Just because you're a King or a Queen, doesn't mean you don't drop your own F'bombs.  I know plenty of Queens who drop F'bombs...

Limoncello Variations

Two years ago when Danny DeVito was on Jimmy Kimmel Live drinking his Limoncello and cooking with Mario Batali, I wonder how many people he introduced the liqueur to with his shenanigans.  (I wonder how many people were introduced to Mario and his funky orange footwear too...) but back to drinks.

Lemoncello is an Italian digestivo which is drunk following a meal and supposed to aid in digestion.  Digestivos are not very popular in the US; although Fernet Branca is having a renaissance of sorts (a "ginger back" anyone) - though I think they're becoming more commonplace.

Supposedly limoncello easy to make (according to what I've read, although I have never attempted to make any) - all you need is sugar, water, lemons, alcohol, and time.  Start with the highest proof alcohol you can find, this ensures a more complete extraction of lemony goodness.  Essentially, you peel the lemons and allow them to soak in the booze; add sugar.

Limoncelllo Quest is a wonderful website devoted to making your own lemoncello and one day I will follow it to the T.  "A Personal Pilgrimage to Create the Perfect Lemoncello" - Limoncelllo Quest begins, "Step One: Cut a hole in the box. (Just kidding.)"  Hilarious, I like it already.

"Kumquatcello" Photo courtesy of Sippity Sup

Our friend Greg at Sippity Sup is working on a lemoncello variant made with kumquats.  Brilliant!  He's inviting suggestions for names because "Kumquatcello" sounds a bit awkward, and I agree.  I suggested "Fortuncello" because the kumquat's genus is Fortuna and I think it has a nice ring to it.  It sounds intriguing and I hope it works.

Aperol
Along the same theme as lemoncello is Mandarino (made with Mandarin oranges), Zenzerino (made with ginger), Raspicello (made with raspberries), and Peachcello (made with peaches).  An interesting liqueur I was recently introduced to is Aperol - which is made with oranges and, strangely enough, rhubarb.  Here is the sparkling cocktail we made with it:

Orange Aperol Sun (adapted from Joanne Weir)

2 jiggers of Aperol
2 jiggers of fresh orange juice (we used blood oranges)
1 750ml bottle Prosecco
Thin orange slices (for garnish)
Ice cubes

Combine --> Consume.

The McNuggetini

When I saw this I couldn't stop laughing.  Yes, laughing out-loud, and to myself.  It epitomizes everything gluttonous and outrageous that America still has left to stand on.  It is so unapologetically both panache and bas-cuisine.

Imagine Vodka meets Ronald McDonald; first they try to make small talk, then they go out to dinner.  Drinks ensue.  In the end, Ronald's red Afro gets caught on fire as he goes running down Sunset Boulevard screaming something about how the Filet-O-Fish was for Catholics.

When Vodka and Mr. McDonald cross paths again, (at a casting call for Celebrity Fit Club 4, no less) several weeks later, referring to the moment as "awkward" would be like calling Chernobyl a "wardrobe malfunction." They decide to never enter the same state together again, but they do; however, agree on one thing.  The subtle nuance behind a well-made McNuggettini.

The McNuggetini is the result of months of hard work. 

(via thisrecording.com) - by Georgia Hardstark

"McNuggitini

Recipe by Alie and Georgia

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 0 minutes
Yield: 2 servings

Ingredients:

2 McNuggz (plus more for snacking)
1 tub McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce (plus more for licking off pinky finger)
1 lg. Mcdonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake (plus more for bringing all the boys to the yard)
1 bottle Vanilla Vodka (recommended brand: Absolut)

Open the McDonalds bag. Eat one McNugg each, followed by two bites of the Filet-o-Fish (make sure you don’t tell anyone that you eat Filet-o-Fishes).

Mix three or four shots of vanilla vodka in the McDonalds Brand Chocolate Milkshake, followed by one shot each directly into your mouth.

Rim each martini glass with McDonalds Brand Barbeque Sauce, and pour milkshake/vodka mixture into the glass. Garnish with a McNugg (which is to be swiped along barbeque sauce rimmed glass after the milkshake has been finished, and consumed with pure, unadulterated glee)."

Can Baconaise Save Your Life?

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Jon Stewart on his Daily Show poked fun of Baconaise the other night and I was compelled to learn more.  Not only is the product Kosher! - but there is a Baconaise Lite, which packs in only 3g of fat per serving, AND they have a chart that explains how using Original Baconaise instead of 3 slices of real bacon - can cut the fat content of a Turkey Club by 50%.  Using Baconaise Lite will cut the fat content by more than 85%!

So I suppose the question becomes, "Can Baconaise Save You Life?"

These miracle spreads (dare I call them?) are made by a company called JD Foods.  So what else is going on in the heads of these people?  

Enter Bacon Salt, "a low sodium, zero calorie, zero fat, vegetarian and kosher seasoning that makes everything taste like bacon."  Interestingly, their mission was to bring the joy of bacon to vegetarians and those who adhere to kosher law.

Is this altruism? Unadulterated genius?

I'll have to try some before I make that call.  What makes their story even more bizarre is that their first set of funding came from winning $5,000 on America's Funniest Home Videos.

The salt amazingly comes in 9 flavors: Original, Hickory, Peppered, Natural, Applewood, Maple, Cheddar, Jalapeno, and Mesquite.  

 (from video) "Bacon needs to pace himself!" - man in bacon suit.

Fuzzy’s Grub

photo by Loren Tama

I had worked on Fleet Street (London) before; in fact I spent four months working there last year.  I am, therefore, well-acquainted with the food options.  Somehow during my recent stint, however, I had thus far neglected my old Fleet Street favorite.  Here’s how I rediscovered it:



It was 12:35PM on a work day, and I was borderline hangry from not eating since breakfast four hours prior.  Lost in the frantic tasks of my day job, I donned my coat and absent-mindedly stepped onto the sidewalk, lacking an intended destination.  It was cold outside, and my fight-or-flight instincts drove my body to override conscious thought.  Steered by my stomach, my feet moved, one in front of the other, and pointed me west up Fleet Street.  Minutes later, my mind caught up with my body as I stood before my epicurean destiny of the day: Fuzzy’s Grub.



For you neophytes, Fuzzy’s is an English eating establishment whose bovine emblem attracts droves of hungry people (men, mostly) to its eight London locations.  The location I prefer has two or three measly stools in the window, but it is primarily a place to grab some lunch before hurrying back to the office to beat time and temperature.  Fuzzy’s is an eatery of choices.  Customers choose a type of roast meat, a vessel (dish or sandwich), and a variety of toppings.  On this glorious afternoon, my stomach said something like this: “roast turkey on ciabatta with stuffing, mashed potatoes, roast carrots, peas, cranberry sauce, gravy, and Yorkshire pudding.”



Upon arriving back at the office, I sat at my work table flanked at the elbows by two co-workers.  As I unwrapped my meal (not sandwich; MEAL), comments and questions abounded about the size and contents.  My male colleague understood when I simply relayed the famous namesake of the meal’s origin.  He proceeded to explain the allure to my female colleague, allowing me to focus on carefully unwrapping and devouring the wonderfulness.  About halfway through my tasty task, the male colleague glanced at the slop of turkey, peas, and carrots that had fallen to the wrapper.



“You’re never going to finish that,” he said.

“Uhuh,” I protested with a mouthful.



And I did.  I ate every last scrap of turkey, every drop of gravy, and every single pea that fell to the paper.  And that – that commitment, that desire, that satisfaction – that is Fuzzy’s Grub.

“Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.”

This famous quote by French gastronome Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826) may be more pertinent now than it has ever been.  Several recent studies have begun to shed light on the subject of our past and how cooking may have been the single biggest development to help Mankind diverge from apes.

Last year from Wired:

"Some have proposed that it was our high-energy, high-protein and cooked diet that enabled us to fuel our big brains during our evolution," said study co-author Mehmet Somel.

More recently, Richard Wrangham of Harvard University, outlined in a meeting for the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) how he believes that it was cooking (and not simply a shift from a plant-based diet to a meat-based diet) that allowed for Homo Erectus to literally feed a larger brain.

I find his logic is sound and it follows like this.  The human brain consumes up to 25% of our caloric intake.  Ergo, it would require the consumption of either 25% more calories OR for us to more completely digest what we've eaten.  He notes three major factors involved with the cooking of food. 

1. Softens food - In one study, two groups of rats were given different diets: soft pellets and hard pellets.  The soft group gained 30% more weight than the hard group after 26 weeks.   
2. Breaks down starches
3. Breaks down and denatures proteins

Quoted from Wired:

"Wrangham cited data showing that cooking increases the body's ability to digest starches (as found, for example, in bread, potatoes and bananas). Only about 50 percent of raw starches are digested, compared to 90 percent of cooked ones. The trend, and the numbers, are similar for protein: from 50 to 65 percent digestibility raw to better than 90 percent cooked."

Referencing the same meeting with Wrangham at the AAAS, the Economist states,

"[Cooking] “denatures” protein molecules, so that their amino-acid chains unfold and digestive enzymes can attack them more easily...That makes it easier to digest, so even though the stuff is no more calorific, the body uses fewer calories dealing with it."

I feel compelled to mention too, that cooking food makes it taste a heck of a lot better!  Now get cooking and pass the paprika please...

Silly Foodie Gear

 

Dough-Nu-Matic Doughnut Maker (via Overstock) - $129.99
I wonder what the ROI is on one of these babies! 

USB Powered Lunchbox (via Tokyo Mango) - about $20
I can't believe this is real... 

WAKE n' BACON (via mathlete.com) - one of a kind
An alarm clock that wakes you with the smell of freshly cooked bacon.  I can't believe I don't have one of these already... 

Bill Clinton Corkscrew (via Overstock) - $29.99
There's a Hilary nutcracker too.  No really.  There is. 

Almost X Rated Cookie Cutters (via Lacuisineus.com) - $20-$44
There's a gingerbread man also... it's a little more, graphic.

Vita-Mix 5201 XL Variable Speed Blender (via Blender World) - $1,806.31
When you make a ton of margeritas, only an $1,800 blender will do... 

Witmer Company Peanut Butter Mixer (via Amazon) - $8.99
For all those times you need your peanut butter mixed... stat!

Malcolm Gladwell Speaks at TED on Spaghetti Sauce

Malcolm Gladwell is the best-selling author of "The Tipping Point" and "Blink".  In this short lecture from a TED conference he dives into how data gathered by Howard Moskowitz and food companies during the 1980's led them to embrace the diversity of people's tastes and provide more diversity of products.  He uses spaghetti sauce, mustard, and coffee as examples.

The 2nd Annual NorCal Regional Grilled Cheese Invitational

We attended the Grilled Cheese Invitational at Dolores Park in San Francisco.  The event had the capacity for 500 "judges" which basically went to the first 500 people to get in line and make a $2 donation.

Unfortunately, what looked like 1000+ people showed up and were quite disappointed when the man with the megaphone told them there were only 20 wristbands left.

Look at the line of people winding its way around the park.

Well, guess who got the LAST TWO wristbands?

The crowd

The Competitors

I quickly became completely frustrated with the format.  There was no structure.  In order to get a sandwich, you had to fight your way through the mob, get to the front, and yell and scream like an idiot when someone waved a grilled cheese in front of you.  Some of the competitors were even making people grovel and beg.

Pathetic.  It took an hour to get 2 quarter-slices.

It was a great idea that was executed poorly.  They should have had people form a line or draw numbers.

We got a slice from their "Missionary Position" category (standard bread, standard butter and standard cheese.  No additional ingredients or flavorings allowed) and one from their "Kama Sutra" category (in which anything goes).  

The standard sandwich was OK, but I think I could make a better one using tips from our previous article Alternative Grilled Cheese Techniques.  The second was fantastic though.  I'm not sure what kind of meat was in there - but it also had some sort of bitter greens, maybe collard, maybe beet.  It added a sweet and tangy touch that balanced well with the richness of the cheese. 

So, how do you win?  Take a tip for their Official Rules page:

"10) Have sex with somebody before the competition - Let your hair down and relax, then come and grill cheese. You'd be surprised how much of a difference it really makes in the grill."

Valentine's Dinner Injury

So I cut end of my finger making a Filet Mingon Dinner for my sweetie on Valentine's Day.  Luckily I had these AWESOME Fried Egg Bandages to stop the bleeding AND make me look cool.   They come in Archie McPhee's Bacon & Eggs Bandage Assortment which I wrote about earlier in I Love Bacon - and Bacon Toys.  

Is King Cake Dangerous? Not Nearly as Much as Mochi

photo by Kristin Brenemen

Fat Tuesday is right around the corner and I'm hearing more and more about King Cake.  A  friend of mine in college, Lucas, was from New Orleans and my first experience with King Cake was when his mom sent him one all the way to our dorm in California to celebrate.  

I was the lucky guy who found the little plastic baby inside.

Lucas had failed to mention there was a choking hazard buried in there...

Thank God no one was hurt or killed but it got me wondering, has anyone died from King Cake?

I dug and dug through the internet and although I couldn't find anything conclusive - that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.  I did; however, find that Mochi [the squishy marshmallow-like Japanese rice cakes] seem to kill a few elderly people each year during New Years in Japan.  

No way.  Really?  

Really.

This Associated Press clipping claims four elderly Tokyo residents died in the first two days of 1996 while choking on Mochi, and that the rice cakes had claimed the lives of five more in the first three days of 1995 as well.

In 2000 - Elderly choke on year end delicacy

In 2001 - 'Mochi' claims three more elderly

In 2007 - Four choke to death on 'mochi'

From the Japan Times, "According to data compiled by the health ministry, 4,407 people died by choking in 2006. By age, about 85 percent were over 65... By type of food, "mochi" pounded rice was the top culprit."  Again, I couldn't find any hard data but I'm starting to think that Mochi kills more people each year than sharks!

Whether it is the baby in the King Cake or a scrumptious ball of delicious yet deadly mochi, if something goes awry - and the Heimlich fails - you can always try the vacuum like this woman successfully did, Daughter uses vacuum cleaner to save dad's life (via Japan Times).

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Inside the Mind of Chef Boyardee

photo by architekt2

If Ettore Boiardi only knew what ConAgraFoods was doing with his name (albiet Americanized) he would likely not approve.  The story of Boiardi (from Wikipedia):

"The Chef Boyardee product began when its founder, Ettore Boiardi, founded an Italian restaurant, Giardino d'Italia, at East 9th Street and Woodland Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio.  People began asking Ettore for his recipe and samples of his ingredients, and as demand grew he opened a factory in 1928 to keep up with orders.

Ten years later, he moved his factory to Milton, Pennsylvania. When his product began mass-distributing, he decided to name his product "Boy-Ar-Dee" to help Americans properly pronounce his name."

I'm all for getting creative but with reagards to food, a line needs to be drawn where children especially begin to become alienated from what they're actually eating.  How is a 6 year old suppose to draw the conclusion that his pasta dinosaurs came from a field of Semolina?

Here are some of the more off-the-wall products with the Chef Boyardee label on them:

ABC's 'n 123's Mini Meatballs - Nothing says delicious like food shaped like letters and numbers. 

Beefaroni - I have nothing to say about this one.

BIG Beefaroni - A bigger version of the previous entry that made me speechless.

Cheesy Burger Macaroni - I like cheeseburgers AND macaroni; however, I don't think they should be stuffed into a can together.

Cheesy Burger Ravioli - Same "two dishes, one can" rule applies for ravioli.

Chili Cheese Dog Twistaroni - A new pasta appears here, the twistaroni, not to be confused with Fusilli.

Dinosaurs with Mini Meatballs - There's nothing quite like a perfectly al dente dinosaur.

Mini Bites Micro Beef Ravioli - I prefer my Micro Beef meduim rare.

Mini Bites Mini Ravioli with Mini Meatballs - Perfect for jockeys?

Nacho Cheese Twistaroni - The twistaroni with a Mexican... twist?  Pun intended.

Pepperoni Pizzazaroli - Ahh, the Pizzazaroli.  Don't confuse this with Pizzoccheri.

Strange Sundries - Odd Canned Meats

I recently discovered The Hard To Find Grocer's online store where you can revisit those sometimes-odd tastes from your childhood.  I've been perusing the virtual aisles and been finding all sorts of goodies worth trying.  What immediately intrigued me was Aisle 8: Canned Meats, Canned Pasta, Chili, and Soups.

I was hoping to find one regional favorite close to my heart, Cincinnati Chili.  Having never heard of it before, my wife introduced me to Cincinnati Chili in my early 20's - which is a beef sauce made with pie spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, etc.) and poured over spaghetti.  Once the novelty wears off, it can be pretty good when done right.  

Although they don't have any "Cinici Chili", they did have some other fun stuff.  So without further adieu, let's check out what The Hard To Find Grocer has to offer on aisle 8: 

Tony Packo's Hot Dog Sauce with Beef - "The authentic sauce that tops the Hungarian dogs at Tony Packo's in Toledo - made famous by Corporal Klinger of M*A*S*H* fame in the mid-70's. Tony's original recipe remains a closely held secret!" - Maybe Jimmie Hoffa got whacked by Tony Packo and ended up in a can of hot dog sauce...

Wolf Brand Hot Dog Sauce - "The Original Wolf recipe was developed in 1895 by a Texas ranch cook. Sold in Corsicana, TX in front of the Blue Front saloon for 5 cents a bowl, it soon became a hit! This unique blend of spices, seasonings and lean cuts of beef has flavored the lives of generations." - This looks a lot like Cincinnati Chili... or the dog got sick again...

Sweet Sue Whole Chicken in a Can - "One whole chicken, ready for soups, stews and quick dinners. Great to have on hand in your pantry for emergency dinners. Sweet Sue, a division of Sara Lee." - First of all, I'm wondering how big is this can?  Secondly, I'm thinking this would be perfect for all those times when I thought to myself... I wish I had a whole chicken in a can right now...

Underwood Chicken Spread - "Begun more than 170 years ago on Boston's Russia Wharf by William Underwood. Underwood's canned foods were among staples pioneers took westward in their covered wagons. The "Underwood Devil" appeared in 1870 as a descriptive logo for the process of "deviling"(ground meat processed with special seasonings). The oldest existing trademark still stands for quality and great taste!" - If you prefer your chicken in a spreadable application, this was made just for you...

Armour Potted Meat Spread - "Delicious on crackers or for use in recipes, also creates a hearty sandwich. Convenient on the shelf or on the go!" - I like how the can's tagline is, "Made with Chicken and Beef."  Well in that case, I'll take a dozen!  The other juicy slice of advertising temptation on the label is, "America's Favorite."  Is this really true?  Is Armour brand America's favorite meat spread?  So many questions, so few answers...

Mysterious Manhattan Smell? Don't Worry, It's Only Fenugreeksci

photo by zoyachubby

There has been a wafting smell reminiscent of maple syrup in the Big Apple lately - causing bioterrorism concerns for many.  The occurrence has happened as far back in recent memory as October 2005, the NY Times reports, and it has been so potent as to have sparked a press conference by Mayor Bloomberg (via Gothamist).  Bloomberg states, “It wasn’t exactly akin to searching for a needle in a haystack, but a smell over a very large area.”  How perspicuous.

Investigators followed the scent to a  fragrance company in New Jersey called Frutarom who the Wall Street Journal's Health Blog suspects may be using fenugreek to refine a substitute for maple syrup flavor.  I only know fenugreek from Indian Cuisine, but what immediately strikes me is that fenugreek is the only spice in our cupboard that requires extra sequestering.  

Our fenugreek is not only a sealed zip-top bag, but that bag needs to be placed inside a Tupperware also in order to keep it from scenting everything in the cupboard "curry."  I suppose if there is one spice that could cross the Hudson, frighten the pants off of tens of thousands of citizens of New York City and make them think they were under attack... it would have to be fenugreek. 

Denny's "Free Grand Slam Day"

Following Denny's Super Bowl ad offering a Free Grand Slam Breakfast today, long lines like this one in Danville, CA were ubiquitous across the nation.  

The LA Times reports that 5 of the top 40 searches on Google Trends were Denny's related, and that in some areas the Denny's servers went down due to the heavy traffic.  Likely from people searching for their nearest location.

Denny's stock (DENN) saw a spike from close of Wall Street Friday to the close of Wall Street today of almost 14%.   I wonder how long it will hold on to the boost.

"Soy is Making Kids Gay" - Jim Rutz

photo by southerntabitha

I found this article from the San Francisco Chronicle's website, sfgate.com (via chow.com) and it so funny it is worth repeating.  SF Gate columnist Mark Morford discovered an evangelist named Jim Rutz from Megashift Ministries who is proclaiming that because soy contains estrogen-like compounds (isoflavones), it is turning society gay.

Jim Rutz claims:

"Research is now showing that when you feed your baby soy formula, you're giving him or her the equivalent of five birth control pills a day. A baby's endocrine system just can't cope with that kind of massive assault, so some damage is inevitable. At the extreme, the damage can be fatal.  Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality.

The danger zone is the first three months of both pregnancy and infancy, when male physiology and brain circuitry are still developing. In other words, a girl-chasing, football-playing college boy won't go gay even if he becomes a vegetarian or snacks all day on soy energy bars. (He might develop thyroid or other health problems or lose most of his libido, though.)"

This increase in gay must because of the dramatic increase in the sale of soy products.

 

From the FDA's website:

"The problem, researchers say, is that isoflavones are phytoestrogens, a weak form of estrogen that could have a drug-like effect in the body. This may be pronounced in postmenopausal women, and some studies suggest that high isoflavone levels might increase the risk of cancer, particularly breast cancer.

Research data, however, are far from conclusive, and some studies show just the opposite--that under some conditions, soy may help preventbreast cancer. It is this scientific conundrum, where evidence simultaneously points to benefits and possible risks, that is causing some researchers to urge caution."

It sounds like Jim's claims are a big helping of crazy with a dash of pseudo-science just to throw off the sent of paranoid schizophrenia.

Check out Mark's article where he goes "nuts" on Jim (soy nuts, anyone?).  It's hilarious.  Mark rants:

"It is no secret, after all, that the consumption of excess Girl Scout cookies -- particularly Caramel deLites -- will make you a butch lesbian. It has also been reported in lesser-known scientific journals that eating lots of organic baby greens means you want to subscribe to the New Yorker and drive a Prius and get your genitals pierced, often at the same time.

Stay in school, kids. Stay in school and for Christ's sake please learn something lest you end up like Jim, what with his trembling hands and his spasming colon and his violent nightmares featuring giant tofu robots leading perky armies of sashaying soy-fed children, marching into his yard wielding soy lattes and Barbra Streisand records and waving gay-marriage petitions like victory flags. Shudder."

Common and Uncommon - Cooking Mistakes

It was only about a year ago when I picked up my first copy of the magazine Real Simple and while reading it, my quick browse soon turned into a full blown peruse.  I like it.  The mag is like Martha Stewart Living only more practical and not so hoity-toity when it comes to cooking, and gardening, and well... life in general.  

Now now, I have the utmost respect for Martha and the empire she has built, I really do.  I may be a big fan but nevertheless, it's still fun to post screenshots of her drinking an Olde English 40oz malt liquor and eating a Taco Bell burrito on Late Night with Conan O'Brien.  You can watch the whole clip here.

Martha Stewart and a 40 of Old English "Old E" Malt Liquor

So back to the story at hand...

Real Simple recently did a piece online called 7 Common Cooking Mistakes and they added "What to do next time" instructions in the article.  Their original list consisted of the following:

1. You didn’t read the recipe all the way through before you started cooking.
2. You overcrowded the pan.
3. You didn’t preheat the pan, and your fish fillets turned out soggy.
4. You cooked pasta in a small pot and ended up with a pile of gummy noodles.
5. You sautéed wet greens.
6. You used dried herbs in a recipe in place of fresh ones, resulting in a heavily overseasoned dinner.
7. You fried food in oil that wasn’t hot enough.

Here are the more uncommon mistakes that I would have added:

1. You thought it was sugar, but it wasn't.
2. The last person to wash the blender didn't screw the bottom on tight, and you just made margaritas.
3. You forgot to rinse your beans and now you just poured wall paper paste on your salad.
4. You got all wrapped up playing Cranium and scorched the Thanksgiving turkey.
5. "Baking Powder, Baking Soda... what's the difference?"
6. "Jalapeno... Habanero, what's the difference?"
7. You completely forgot about the rice...
8. You fell asleep on the couch and just made a briquette from a frozen pizza...

Feel free to add your own in the comments

"It's a Dirty Kitchen!"

photo by Dave Koch

"It's a Dirty Kitchen!"

I hear them exclaim. All too often I have taken foreign guests to my favorite roadside eating houses in Asia only to have them baulk at the lack of decor let alone matching dishes or cutlery.

"When was the last time they cleaned that pot?"

Believe me when I tell you - it's pot luck. As a veteran of 4 years living and traveling in Asia i can safely say that you could be in as much danger eating at a 5 star restaurant. Forget Michelin stars, sometimes the only stars you will be seeing are inside your eyelids after one too many cases of poisoning.

So be bold! Be brave! What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. You could be saved by having a bowl of Pho soup at a dirty shack beside the train station in Hanoi after enduring the worst food poisoning on the train from hell (that was after a Michelin 5 star meal I will never forget). And anyway, who needs that 3 day intestinal cleaning retreat in Koh Phangan after eating roadside food prepared by a crooked little old lady as shriveled as a preserved Chinese plum outside the temple of the reclining Buddha in Bangkok?

Some of the best meals I've had have been in very obscure places - I will never forget being in Seoul eating barbecue Mackerel and drinking Makgeolli (unrefined fermented rice wine) in what looked like the inside of an old teacher's desk (complete with graffiti). Served to me in a tin bowl that looked like it had been used for football practice.

So my advice is dear travelers, when in Asia, throw caution to the wind, try everything and after being well seasoned (both inside and out) you will find yourself in a roadside shack nonchalantly observing "Wow, that's the biggest rat I've ever seen." And...

"Eating dirty Hor Fun!"

Soopid Food Myths

Explosinve Orange - photo by noisen8r

From the comedy magazine (now web-only), Cracked, comes a hilarious take on "7 Retarded Food Myths the Internet Thinks Are True."  I have heard most of them, in some way, shape, or form; however, I thought MSG burns your stomach lining, not your brain.  I also never knew how bad water was for you after eating.  How I've for lived this long - we'll never know.

My own high school Physics teacher (Mr. Brundin?) had a story about HIS college Biochemistry professor keeping an unwrapped Twinkie on hand to make the class guess how old it is.  If I remember correctly, it was more than 20 years old.  Although it is all hearsay, I don't think I ate a Twinkie for at least the next ten years.

This Twinkie story pre-dates the internet and I'm sure all of these rumors existed by word of mouth well before Netscape Navigator existed.  Nevertheless, at the time I had now way of "fact-checking" on the web (oxymoron?) to confirm or deny the truth behind Mr. Brundin's story.  So here are Cracked's Top 7:

#7 - Coca-Cola Will Melt Your Stomach

#6 - Red Bull Gives You Wings, and By Wings, We Mean a Brain Tumor

#5 - MSG Burns Your Brain Cells

#4 - Cold Water After a Meal will Give You Cancer... Or a Heart Attack...

#3 - Twinkies Are Not Real Food, They Last Forever

#2 - Margarine is Actually Plastic

#1 - Canola Oil is RAPE OIL

Read the article here for their Facts for each one and commentary from their readers.

- Dave Koch